Budding Buddhist

Here we go...

2009-03-30T17:43:00.002-06:00

...I've finally gotten everything ported over to WordPress. This blog will now be left as an archive. Please find me at my new home:

http://walkingtowardrefuge.wordpress.com/

URL's a bit lengthy, but the other choices I tried were all taken. :D Forgive me!!

An Overdue Update

2009-03-12T14:45:00.007-06:00

Well, I hate to say, it, 'cause I love da layout, but I've made the decision to port this blog to my wordpress account soon. I love the functionality over there, and that's where all my other creative projects are so...expect a move soon.

In more serious news - I've been missing for so long because my Dad's liver began failing. A couple of weeks ago I called in some favors and managed to fly up to see him in Mt. Sinai. To be honest, my Mom and I figured he'd be dead within a week - he was really sick, y'all. And it was hard to watch the progression of his illness. He was diagnosed with hepatic encephalopathy - basically as his liver failed, it would spew ammonia it couldn't process into surrounding tissues. This both ruined his muscle tone and messed with his cognition. When I flew up I hadn't really talked to my *Dad* per se in six or eight months.

So, for months and months I've done the only thing I could think to do for my Mom, as far away as we live. I was an ear to her concerns and fears and frustrations. That's been heavy, but I was SO glad to be able to do it. Figured it was the least I could do.

Anyway, he'd been on the transplant list for quite a bit, but we'd had 6 fall through - I few up on a non-refundable ticket because we had thought one was really it. I got on the plane thinking this was my opportunity to spend some last precious time with my parents together - that this was my goodbye to my Dad, more or less. I got off the plane and let my Mom know I was at JFK and I'm happy to report that during my flight they took my Dad into surgery for his transplant.

Long story short, and I'm sure I'll blog more about this and all the other things I've been thinking about - I'm so deeply grateful for transplants - I have my Dad back. Not the befuddled, very sick guy I'd talk to briefly on the phone for a big chunk of the last year - they really cool guy I adore and grew up with. ^_^ Transplants are gobsmackingly amazing. People go into surgery near-death and a week later are able to leave the hospital under their own power. I just hope donor families know how amazing and precious a thing transplants are. I am forever grateful to the donor family that gave my Dad a second lease on life.

Well, this post is meandering. I guess I should just say life has been keeping me busy. And don't get me started on the local economy and our little home based business.... :P

Next post, back to "normal" - whatever that is.... ^_-

GodSpeed, Mr. President

2009-01-20T14:15:00.002-06:00

Many

2009-01-08T13:23:00.004-06:00

Molly Brown, over at Destination the Journey, today broached something that is a strong component of my practice.

While you sit reading this, someone is giving birth, another is dying, another grieves the loss of a love one. Everything in the breadth and depth of daily human experience is happening right now.

As I move through my day, I do my best to bear this in mind, and honor all these beings and their experiences with my behavior. It doesn't always work, and I am constantly having to pull myself back to this thought, but I try to do my best.

When I begin to pity myself or my situation, I find remembering that many of my brothers and sisters are in far worse places returns me to center. I pray for peace and strength of heart for them, and then also for myself.

Grateful Postscript

2009-01-06T13:25:00.003-06:00

I want to make a point to say that I am grateful for the good life that I have. I guess blogging can lead to some self-absorbed introspection, which is quite honestly why I hesitate to post a lot of times lately. XD

Quotes

2009-01-06T10:51:00.006-06:00

Love is the capacity to take care, to protect, to nourish. If you are not capable of generating that kind of energy toward yourself – if you are not capable of taking care of yourself, of nourishing yourself, of protecting yourself – it is very difficult to take care of another person.

Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh

All my life I have tended to gravitate towards the hardest, most difficult road I can take. I've been that way since I was little. When I was 5 or 6, it was decided that I was too forceful a person - too full of myself is how I once had it explained to me by my parents. So in the first grade (I started school a bit young), a concerted effort was undertaken by my parents and teacher to "take me down a peg." That was a hard year for me. I love my parents and know that they did not mean me real harm, but their efforts with my teacher that year were very successful. I have long since struggled with issued of self-worth and self-confidence. This is part of my Origin.

So I do what I do, and I am what I am. I sit, I practice. I try to practice mindfulness. I dissect, dissolve and attempt to release what I grasp after.

The great practitioners of nonviolence have never turned their heads or shrunk away from their own or others' suffering. Knowing the downfalls of aggression, they have been able to respond with wisdom and broad-mindedness. This type of wisdom and courage grows from our commitment to understanding our own mind and reactions and the causes and results of our actions. We develop the ability to accurately read and respond to the world around us without rejecting it. This is the practice of nonviolence. Of course this takes some maturity. We really need to cultivate this kind of maturity.

Dzigar Kongtrul

Staying Present

2009-01-01T14:53:00.004-06:00

I found a quote I really liked in the book I'm reading right now:

"...we often still find ourselves disengaged from our own clarity, moving along without thinking...."

That's exactly it - I really can grok this - for me it's like residing a half-step away from being present.

Perhaps with a "deeper breath" and a more mindful effort I can "let go" and ease down into this clarity more often.

Hmm

2008-12-28T21:38:00.004-06:00

Blargh. It's been a long time since I blogged. Life has presented me with great challenges lately. An ailing parent. At least one child that may be heading for an Asperger's diagnosis. The failing "secondary" economy in the area (we live in an area that caters to vacationers) has made things...interesting, as well. That's definitely the word - interesting.

Anyway - a couple of recent discoveries: I loved James Ure's post on Kafka, not so long ago. I always liked Kafka, but I don't remember reading that first poem James includes. In any case, I found the post refreshing. ^_^ Also - I'm currently reading Light Comes Through by Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche. This is a highly readable, slim little volume. I'll have a review soon.

One More Thing....

2008-09-28T12:21:00.004-05:00

While looking for information about Ayya Khema, I ran across a wonderful documentary photo collection on Flickr: Sangha: Munks [sic] and Nuns in the Buddhist Community by Friedrich Reg. There are several of Ven. Khema, but there are also many others including both the thought-provoking and lovely. Here's one:

Ayya Khema

2008-09-28T09:34:00.007-05:00

Via both The Buddhist Blog and lotusinthemud I found a really interesting quote from Venerable Khema. (Check out the links for the quote - figured repeating it a third time was a bit redundant. 0.O) I wasn't familiar with the Venerable so I did a little research. Resources I found:

Gathered resources here.
A Wikipedia article here.
To Be Seen Here and Now: Ten Dhamma Talks from a meditation retreat at Pelmadulla Bhikkhu Training Centre, Sri Lanka, by Sister Ayya Khema - I've yet to read these, but I look forward to it.
Path and Fruit, a Dhamma Talk by Sister Ayya Khema - Another one I look forward to reading.
Here's my search on Google video. A few are in English, most are in German.
Ayya Khema: A Personal Tribute by Urgyen Sanghara kshita.
A collection of three of her writings, which includes a copy of To Be Seen Here and Now.

A brief summary of her life, quoted directly from Wikipedia:

Ayya Khema (August 25, 1923 - November 2, 1997), a Buddhis t teacher, was born as Ilse Ledermann in Berlin, Germany, to Jewish parents.

Khema dodged the Nazis during World War II, but was interned by the Japanese. She eventually moved to the United States. After travelling in Asia she decided to become a Buddhist nun in Sri Lanka in 1979. She was very active in providing opportunities for women to practice Buddhism, founding several centers around the world. In 1987 she co-ordinated the first ever I nternational Conference of Buddhist Nuns.

Khema wrote over two dozen books in English and German. Her autobiography, I Give You My Life, is an adventure story sprinkled with nuggets of spiritual wisdom.

Among her many other accomplishments, Ayya Khema was the spiritual director of Buddha-Haus in Germany, founded with her guidance. (An English language version of their website can be found here.) Her ashes rest in a beautiful stupa there:

As you can tell (^_^), I've gathered a lot of online resources to read and listen to. So far I'd say her speaking and writing style are very accessible and interesting to lay-person-me. I'd be very interested to know if any of y'all have read her books, and what your opinion is, or perhaps even which one is your favorite, if you've read much by her.
----------------------
Image sources - Sangha: Munks [sic] and Nuns in the Buddhist Community by Friedrich Reg and the Buddha-Haus.

Starting Off Lightly

2008-09-27T12:54:00.008-05:00

Thought I'd begin a real return to blogging with some interesting tidbits.

First off, did you know that k.d. lang is Buddhist? I've known for quite a while, but it's only recently that I've seen a lot of press on the matter. As a matter of fact, Shambala Sun has a recent (03/08) interview with her:

Melvin McLeod: What type of Buddhism do you practice?

k.d.lang: About eight years ago I met a teacher here in Los Angeles from the Nyingma lineage of Tibet, Lama Chödak Gyatso Nubpa. The great teacher Chagdud Tulku asked him to come here and work on stabilizing dharma in the West. Lama Gyatso quickly became my teacher. I have been practicing and studying with him since.

She and her partner (Jamie Price) are on the board of directors of Ari Bödh, the American Foundation for Tibetan Cultural Preservation. Also amongst their small sangha's current projects is "a children’s camp called Tools for Peace."

(Please note - image is from her website - no infringement is intended, but it seemed highly appropriate for the entry.)

Also, I was reading in last month's Shambala Sun that the 17th Karmapa* has a love of comic books, especially the X-men:

In your talk earlier today, you mentioned that you used to read X-Men and other comics. Is that something you still do?

I would continue reading comic books, but not many people give them to me anymore! When I was young, all kinds of people would give me comic books, but now they don't. As you know, they made a movie of the X-Men, and I enjoyed that very much. When I went to Universal Studios, I thought about buying some X-Men comics while I was there. But it was very crowded and I thought, "Well, maybe it wouldn't be so appropriate for an adult to purchase such things."

I am totally thinking about putting back a stash of comic books to send to him, when I can. ^_^

* I am not going to weigh in on this, but there is some controversy as to who the 17th Karmapa is - see this article for more. I see no reason, regardless of one's position on this controversy, to not refer to him by his appropriate title.

And last, but not least, via Venerable Konchog of Dreaming of Danzan Ravjaa, comes a fun invitation to provide a caption to this fab image:

You know you wanna. Rev. Danny Fisher has weighed in already. ^_- Drop by and weigh in!

Whew

2008-09-24T10:16:00.003-05:00

I'm back. Well, sort of. At least I'm trying to be. Lots to do, between work, home and little people. Anyway - I'm out here. Listening. ^_- Hopefully soon to be posting more.

Blunt honesty time: It can be intimidating for me, sometimes, trying to decide if what I have to say is interesting in the slightest, ya know? Sometimes I get hung up in a lack of self confidence. Lots of Buddhist thinking, musings, and questions cross my mind, but there's this crabby, cowed-acting corner of my mind that tells me that it's egotistical to think that anyone would be interested in my blogged contemplations. This has been a huge block to me lately, when it comes to writing.

Freeing Tibet

2008-03-10T16:15:00.001-06:00

I'm a bit slow in mentioning this, but the issue doesn't end when March 10th ends:

Loyalty?

2008-03-03T12:44:00.004-06:00

Just a quick post - have a lot of thoughts bumping around in my head right now, but no cohesive order to them yet. However, I found an interesting link on lotusinthemud I thought was worth pointing out. Apparently, a Quaker teacher was fired for changing her loyalty oath to reflect her nonviolent spiritual views.

Random Pics from Date Night

2008-02-20T21:34:00.008-06:00

The cat is away (well, in this case, the 3 kittens), so the mice have been at play - while the kiddos are with their grandparents this week, the other half and I have actually been getting in some grownup hang out time. Part of that was hanging at a mediocre chain bookstore after a movie. While da Man was checking out the Ubuntu, Unix and Debian books, I (of course) gravitated over to the anaemically stocked Buddhist selections. Here's part of what I saw - hoped y'all might find these two pics amusing:

Nothing big here - just thought it was funny to be told that the sitting on the floor I was doing wasn't necessary....

I sure hope someone out there understands why I find this one amusing - that magazine you see peeking out (the only "Buddhist brand" magazine this store carries, behind the title Nudes) is Shambhala Sun:

Tagged by Precious Metal - Very Belated!!!!

2008-02-13T16:43:00.004-06:00

Sooo - way back in December I got tagged to do a meme by Precious Metal. Sounds like fun, I was just up to my eyeballs. Still am, but I'm moving the stuff around me a bit - making breathing room. Anyway, even though it's quite late - thought I'd participate....

The rules --

• Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
• Share 7 random or weird things about yourself.
• Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs
• Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

I think I'm going to not tag other folks, as late as this is, and as many people as I've found who've already done this. However, here are my responses:

7 Random or Weird Things about Me

Spent a while working at a zoo when I was a lot younger - did many different jobs, many of them grunt jobs, so I can identify more kinds of poo than probably anyone you'll ever meet.
I am a Cold War Air Force brat - my Dad did "nuclear stuff" for a long time when I was a kid, and my birth in the Netherlands is directly related to that. You should see how much paperwork I have to take to the DMV to prove I'm an American citizen. ;P
I haven't been able to do it in years for lack of opportunity, but I was pretty good at Irish dancing. Used to go with a friend every Tuesday to dance at O'Flaherty's Irish Channel Pub in New Orleans (sadly closed down in 2005). I had a lot of friends and acquaintances that were tarot readers or street performers in the Quarter, and I once danced with a drunk clown in full Scottish formal dress (think kilt). His clown shoes kept crushing my feet. o.0
I spent more than half a decade living in England - I had a dear elderly friend who used to take me to see the vicar at St. Mary's church when we lived in Grundisburgh (roughly pronounced Grun-dis-bor-o). This late medieval church is the first one I ever attended services at and tends to be the one I use as a bench mark. ^_^
My oldest domain name is going on 13 years old.
I was stalked in an amusement park when I was 13.
I've taken to wearing wedding bands on both my ring fingers - a habit I picked up when I was living/studying in Austria for a little while, where folks wear their wedding rings on their right hands. Anyway, they're both simple thin gold bands and I feel more symmetrical this way....

Hmm - hope that works! Anyone who reads this and wants to participate - consider yourself tagged.

Oh wow ...

2008-02-12T20:08:00.000-06:00

...I really missed the boat on this one. Talk about not being present....

Here's a lesson in impermanence, and in the need to stay connected.

There once was a man who had a major impact on my life. I don't know that he ever knew what a huge effect he had on me. He was a coffeehouse owner, a hobo, a poet, and a wonderful percolator of creativity and unity. It's hard to find words that haven't already been used to describe him, and better....

Suffice it to say that his slow, genuine life is something that both my husband and I honor in our lives. We mention him fairly frequently, and will continue to do so.

When I left New Orleans after college, I knew I was leaving an important and formative part of my life behind. I was also leaving a city and people I love behind, and I didn't know when I would be back. When we filled up at the gas station that day, I broke down and cried. I had to face impermanence head on, and just accept change.

Things change, time passes, people live and die. Bob Borsodi died, just as we all must. However, to learn that he was so racked with the pain of metastasized, fatal cancer that he leapt to his death from the Hale Boggs Bridge, into the Mississippi River...and not only that, that I missed his passing by more than four years....well, it's just given me food for thought. What a mindfulness bell.... I've got much to think about.....

A Cage Without a Bird -- Bob Borsodi

I have a dove that dwells

Within a cage without a door.

(I took the door off years ago.)

And pretty girls have asked,

Their minds full of externals,

"Is it safe?"

And how perhaps he needs a door

To protect him

Lest he sneak away somehow to the city outside

And be lost.

And compounding their request,

If he needs a mate

That he might want for friendship

In his prison without a gate.

Well, here it is.

The dove and I have achieved this rare liberty

Only after many years,

A tedious story of near disaster experiences,

Murky and dreary, too unkind to recall.

The surest safety

Comes from a source deep inside,

Deep inside the boney cage,

From a peaceful feeling there

Which I would do harm to explain.

And the sweetest friendship likewise

Comes from a free feeling there, deep inside,

That I would do harm to tame.

Yet peaceful and free

We do no harm to be.

A New Day...

2008-02-12T11:47:00.002-06:00

...well, after a fashion, at least. Time for another, more concerted effort, on a lot of fronts, including everyday life.

For the moment - I found something interesting on lotusinthemud today:

facing our own boredom, impatience, and fears

Having an initial good look round is a good idea but pick'n'mix isn't Buddhist training:
If we do a little of one kind of practice and a little of another, the work we have done in one often doesn't continue to build as we change to the next. It is as if we were to dig many shallow wells instead of one deep one. In continually moving from one approach to another, we are never forced to face our own boredom, impatience, and fears. We are never brought face to face with ourselves. So we need to choose a way of practice that is deep and ancient and connected with our hearts, and then make a commitment to follow it as long as it takes to transform ourselves.
~ Jack Kornfield in A Path with Heart

So, interesting food for thought, and an interesting counterpoint/addition to The Buddhist Blog's latest post.

Thoughts

2007-11-13T13:54:00.000-06:00

Hi all - long time no blog, eh?

No great insights here - just living life. Remaining mindful and aware can be a tremendous challenge in the day to day of a life with a marriage, kids, a budget.

I very much wish that some of the great Buddhist teachers had shared this life, and had commented on it. Even the Buddha stepped away from these visceral issues whilst he sought Understanding.

I love the path I've chosen. I love my marriage, my husband. I love my kids. I love my 2 cats and 1 dog. I love the challenge of my life - I am grateful that I have the opportunity to grow and learn so much. It's all very good, if challenging to my mindfulness, my peace of heart. I'm content with it all.

Faith

2007-09-11T19:54:00.000-05:00

The only lack of faith I have is in myself. Mindfulness makes it easier to see exactly where I am, and what is going on. Still, it doesn't always provide me with the answers I need to adjust the way I do things. How does one shift to a healthier, saner way of being? I'm sure I'll figure it out. Time to find my cushion, methinks....

Still here...

2007-09-10T17:31:00.000-05:00

...wow, can't believe it's been a month!

The last month has been busy and a test of my gumption. There's been a lot going on.

We've got our 12 year old newly enrolled in a virtual school, which is turning out to be a stressful transition, even though it eliminates a lot of his previous school stresses and difficulties. (He's very bright and has a real, honest to goodness case of ADD/ADHD - not the fad diagnosis, but the real deal.) On top of that, we've chosen to homeschool our middle son - he'd be in kindergarten this year, but he's shown rapid development of OCD. They're both wonderful, intelligent kids, but I've had my hands full. Oh - I've got a 3 year old, too. 'Nuff said on that one.

On top of that are various "real life issues." Always working on that whole ends-meeting bit....

Suffice it to say, whilst I have attempted to make every moment an opportunity for mindfulness, I must admit my daily meditative practice has slipped.

Now that things are beginning to calm down, time to begin anew....

Alan Watts Theater

2007-08-07T19:05:00.000-05:00

I found a link to the coolest little flash-animated shorts at the company site for Freshminds. One thing this company does is animate the public speaking of their clients - demonstrated here with a series of short Alan Watts audio excerpts. Here's the really fun thing - they're produced by Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Thanks to Moridin.com for finding this!

Gregor's Back, Y'all

2007-08-05T19:33:00.000-05:00

For anyone who chances on this blog and also reads Gregor's blogs, he's back, with a new blog: Meeting It Everywhere.

^_^

Learn To Be Still

2007-08-05T13:49:00.000-05:00

Time for a fluffier post, methinks. Been a while since I've listened to this:

The lyrics are interesting:

"Learn To Be Still"

It's just another day in paradise
As you stumble to your bed
You'd give anything to silence
Those voices ringing in your head
You thought you could find happiness
Just over that green hill
You thought you would be satisfied
But you never will-
Learn to be still

We are like sheep without a shepherd
We don't know how to be alone
So we wander 'round this desert
And wind up following the wrong gods home
But the flock cries out for another
And they keep answering that bell
And one more starry-eyed messiah
Meets a violent farewell-
Learn to be still
Learn to be still

Now the flowers in your garden
They don't smell so sweet
Maybe you've forgotten
The heaven lying at your feet

[Solo]

There are so many contradictions
In all these messages we send
(We keep asking)
How do I get out of here
Where do I fit in?
Though the world is torn and shaken
Even if your heart is breakin'
It's waiting for you to awaken
And someday you will-
Learn to be still
Learn to be still

You just keep on runnin'
Keep on runnin'

Murder and Creativity

2007-08-03T13:23:00.000-05:00

Y'all, this is a "dead serious" post, so if that's not where your head is at, this is one to skip.

So - we got a call from the FBI yesterday. Seriously. Seems that one of the websites that I created a while back, for no other purpose than the positive sharing of useful information - nothing negative - got perused by someone who's about to go to trial charged in a really notorious murder from a few years back. I'm not going to be more specific than that, just for the protection of everyone involved, but if you've even lightly followed the news for the past few years, you'd know which murder I'm referring to.

Apparently this person is mounting an insanity defense, and the prosecution is trying to prove forethought and planning. And, knowing what pages this person was looking at, I know for a fact that he/she had to be planning. There's no other reason for this person to be surfing this information.

So, knowing this, I know that something I created - that information I gathered and shared - was used by someone planning a nefarious murder. Something I created had a direct effect on the planning and possibly the actions of this person. In some small way, I feel a bit responsible.

Knowing these two things - that this person was definitely planning, and that my created resource was utilized - provided us with extra incentive to help out the prosecution, beyond just civic duty. However, this particular case had another ethical and moral issue for us to wrangle with. See, this is a death penalty case.

My husband and I are deeply opposed to the death penalty. Both of us have thought long and hard on this one, and have discussed it extensively. If either of us is horribly murdered - or both, I suppose - we don't want the death penalty for our killer. I won't trouble you with our reasoning. That's not the point of this post. The point is, that by helping out where we felt obligated to help out, we are aiding people seeking the death of another person.

I guess that ultimately there was no question about whether or not we were going to help out. We sent along the data they asked for. I imagine (hope) that our response is going to become a court document in this case, and that's why we specifically included a paragraph concerning our ethical opposition to what the prosecution is aiming for.

Still, this has brought up a lot of heavy ethical issues. Lots to think about here. Real life ethics are seldom black and white, are they? Wish my parents had prepared me better for that. Oh well, I'm sure I wouldn't be who I am if I hadn't been raised to be such an idealist.

Paging Gregor...

2007-08-03T12:36:00.000-05:00

...dude, noticed your blogs are down. Hope all is well!

Gassho -

EdaMommy

Wonderful Failure

2007-08-01T19:31:00.000-05:00

There is a wonderful aspect to the mindfulness trainings: they are actually impossible to keep! To refrain from harming others? What a profound practice! We receive the Five Mindfulness Trainings knowing that by doing so we are opening up to our own failure. We cannot fix the world, we cannot even fix our own life. By accepting failure we express our willingness to begin again, time after time. By recognizing failure, we change, renew, adapt, listen, and grow. It is only by practicing without expectation of success that we can ever truly open to the world, to suffering and to joy. What extraordinary courage there is in risking losing what you know for the sake of the unknown; risking what you think you are capable of for the sake of your true capability! What profound freedom -- not having to get it right all the time, not having to live for the sake of appearance! By opening to our own failure, we open to the magnificence of the unknown, participating unconditionally, renewing our life.
-- Caitriona Reed
pp. 15-16, For a Future to Be Possible

I read this book (by Venerable Hanh) a while back, and found it to be a concise and useful read. However, it is this passage by Ms. Reed, quoted at the beginning of a discussion of the Second Precept, that I've really been thinking about lately. I don't know about y'all, but I've got a huge amount of perfectionist "habit energy." This quote really spoke to me, and has had such a relevant impact on my practice of mindfulness, but also on the texture of my emotional and intellectual landscape. Reflecting on the great gift of failure, it is easier for me not to dwell when I inevitably break a precept. (Right Listening and Speech, most recently and most notably.) Ms. Reed is totally right - what profound freedom there is in moving beyond the need to always be "correct" in our practice.

Finished

2007-08-01T11:19:00.000-05:00

About a week ago, I finally finished Thây Hanh's The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching. This is a tremendously useful read - I really think that this is definitely one time that the book lives up to the title.

When I was a kid I taught myself how to speed read - a tremendously useful skill, if you can keep your retention level up (I'm still at about 98%, thank goodness.). However, this is not a book that can be read trivially. I read this one SOOO slowly and carefully, going back over passages frequently.

I don't know that this is the first book I'd give someone who expresses an interest in Buddhism to me, but it would be the first one I'd recommend to someone I knew to be *seriously* interested.

Wanna See What Brings Me Joy Today?

2007-07-31T14:32:00.000-05:00

Bit off topic, but OH, how grateful I am for this:
It just started, and it's just roaring against the roof. It has been so desperately dry here - I can't wait to hear the birds this afternoon, and the froggies singing tonight.

Dog Noses and Mindfulness

2007-07-27T14:01:00.000-05:00

You know, for me sitting sometimes becomes a wonderful lesson in impermanence and attachment. The silent meditation I am experiencing and enjoying may disappear in the sudden appearance of a wet dog nose in my lap. I must consciously use that wet snuffle as a mindfulness bell - nothing is permanent, and being attached to my meditation session does no one any good. It is good to sit, and sit uninterrupted, but I am aware that my life choices (like adopting a dog, and forgetting to shut the door before I sit) affect how my practice may transpire. Meditation is just one piece of a life's practice, and I must always remember that. Sometimes there is more to be learned from mindfully accepting and loving the dog underfoot, or the sleepy child crawling into my lap.

Awakening

2007-07-27T09:59:00.000-05:00

One of the deep honors of being a parent is the opportunity to be present when another human being reaches a new understanding of the world. Sometimes these moments are cotton candy sweet, happy affairs. Sometimes they're not. In either case the blessing witnessing - or perhaps even occasionally midwifing - these moments remains the same.

The other evening one of these moments happened for my youngest, and all I could do was just wrap my arms around him and let him mourn.

See, we have a two diet family. My eldest so and I are vegan, my husband and younger two have not been. We coexist, and Warren and I very frank about where food comes from. Both of us believe its important to really understand the origins of what's on our plate. It's so easy in our society to divorce ourselves from this knowledge, and both the meat-eating husband and I believe that's an ethical slippery-slope. (I'm giving my other half a hard time, but he honestly doesn't eat a lot of animal products anymore, which I appreciate.)

So the other night my little guy didn't understand what the optional meat for his bean burrito was all about. When I finally got through to him that it was ground up cow meat that my husband had cooked to add to his, and not vegan he was absolutely horrified. He finally understood, and he was absolutely wracked with grief for all butchered animals. Watching him extend his new knowledge into a growing sense of compassion was so wonderful. Holding him while he cried for them in empathy was painful, but beautiful, too. I'm grateful I was allowed to be there.

Chapter 25

2007-07-19T19:35:00.000-05:00

So I've been taking my time with Chapter 25 of Thich Nhat Hanh's The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching, "The Twelve Links of Interdependent Co-Arising." Dense stuff. I absolutely savour this book - it's definitely one to read with great care and love. Undoubtedly it's one to repeatedly reread, as opportunity arrives. But for right now, it's slow, slow going. Lots to think about. For the most part I find Venerable Hanh's writing very accessible. Of course, some of the topics he broaches in this book are incredibly deep, serious philosophical discussions, and the writing becomes appropriately dense at these points. Very humbling.

Chö-kor Düchen

2007-07-18T17:34:00.000-05:00

Via the Palyul Yahoo forum, from http://www.pcddallas.org/Tibetan_Calendar_2007.htm

TODAY is Chökhor Düchen July 18, 2007

There are four major Special Buddha Days or "Festivals" (düchen) in a year which relate to the life of Buddha Shakyamuni.

During these days, it is said that the effects of positive or negative actions are multiplied 10 million times, so practice is strongly advised.

...

Chokhor Düchen - Buddha Shakyamuni First Turns the Wheel of Dharma

...

Chökhor Düchen July 18, 2007 (Tibetan Chö-kor Düchen-14th day of 6th lunar month): the "First Turning of the Wheel of Dharma" (first teaching) is celebrated. For the first seven weeks after his Enlightenment, Buddha did not teach. Encouraged by Indra and Brahma, he then gave his first teachings at Sarnath on the Four Noble Truths.

Well, there you are. If you didn't know, now you do.

Thây says ...

2007-07-18T16:55:00.000-05:00

"Enlightenment is growing all the time."

One Source of My Joy

2007-07-16T22:22:00.000-05:00

Best Mindfulness Book by Hanh?

2007-07-12T00:37:00.000-05:00

In keeping with my current explorations of mindfulness in the everyday, does anyone have a favorite book on mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh? Or another book/source of Dharma that springs to mind as a favorite/something really useful? If anyone has a suggestion, I'm all (very grateful) ears!

(Oh - I should add - two I've contemplated are The Miracle of Mindfulness and Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life.)

Please Help Save Darfur

2007-07-11T08:05:00.001-05:00

Learn more about the situation at http://www.savedarfur.org/. Please consider embedding this on your site or blog or linking to this ad at YouTube. You can also forward the ad on to others here.

Lovely Mindfulness Quote

2007-07-10T00:45:00.000-05:00

Found this on Old Path Sangha's site:

Mindfulness is the energy of being aware and awake to the present moment. It is the continuous practice of seeing and relating deeply to every moment of daily life. To be mindful is to be truly alive, present and at one with those around you and with what you are doing. We bring our body and mind into harmony with the activities of our daily living. With practice, our mindfulness becomes more joyful, relaxed and steady.
This is the great gift and privilege of participating in the Sangha (community of those who practice together). We are bells of mindfulness for each other, supporting and reminding each other along the path of practice. With the support of the community, we can practice to cultivate peace and joy within and around us, as a gift for all of those whom we love and care for. We can cultivate our solidity and freedom - solid in our deepest aspiration and free from our fears, misunderstandings and our suffering.

Thought this was apropos to my current vein of contemplation....

Mindful Joyfulness/Joyful Mindfulness

2007-07-09T23:46:00.001-05:00

So this is a bit of a slippery fish for me right now. An important part of my practice right now is increasing my awareness of every moment, which I am making some headway on. However, lately I've been struggling to be joyful when I am practicing mindfulness. Thich Nhat Hanh frequently speaks of recognizing our difficulties and smiling at them, but sometimes this is oh-so-hard for me. Doing this - greeting my experiences and feelings with joyful, mindful acceptance - can sometimes require a tremendous act of faith on my part. In An Introduction to the Four Foundations of Mindfulness, Lama Lhundrup says:

Then, through contemplating the nature of samsara, we should relinquish all desire, all wanting, all clinging to the cycle of existence and dissolve all sadness and evil-mindedness. With "sadness" the Buddha meant the sadness which arises in the beginning when we take the resolution to leave samsara behind, an uneasiness due to leaving our beloved attachments. There should be no such sadness in our mind when we are letting go of the causes of suffering (!), but rather the great joy of a firm resolve to go towards liberation and to become able to make it accessible to all others as well. In order to practice mindfulness it is very helpful to have the support of a joyful aspiration.

Mindfulness is the practice of those who are happy to get out of samsara. Our basic attitude of mind should be free of clinging to this world. Having this as our basis we can develop the four foundations of mindfulness. For this we have to practice with diligence and with a clear, precise knowing of what we are doing, with clearly understood instructions on our meditation. Mindfulness means not to be forgetful, not forgetting the object of one's intention. Mindfulness needs to be accompanied by equanimity, a stable mind, not impressed by whatever might appear in mind, and it should be continuous, without interruption; not sometimes mindful and sometimes not. A continuous mindfulness is actually based on a deep letting go, just as Gendun Rinpoche always instructed us. Mindfulness establishes itself naturally when we have no interest for the world and let go of our worldly preoccupation.

It is this joyful aspiration that I am trying for right now.

Online Dharma Resources

2007-07-09T22:19:00.000-05:00

Just a little micro-post as I'm evidently wont to do (^_-) : I've started sort of a personal resource blog that I add online dharma resources to when I find them or think about it. Perhaps it might be helpful to someone else: Online Dharma Resources.

The Sangha Metta Project

2007-07-08T21:47:00.000-05:00

This film looks to be (as far as I can tell from the trailer) a really good look at the Sangha Metta Project of Southeast Asia, "which which engages monks in HIV/AIDS prevention and care." To learn more about the film project and also to find links relevant to this issue, check out http://aidsfrontline.org/.

Onions and No-Self

2007-07-07T23:27:00.000-05:00

I've always thought of personal and spiritual growth as peeling back layers of an onion. The more you peel away, the closer you get to the heart of the onion. When I think about ideas of non-self, I extend this into a little joke - for if you peel away all the layers of an onion, there's nothing left.

Not very original, I'm sure, but it's something I've been thinking of.

Onion image courtesy of cobalt123.

My Last Post ...

2007-06-30T14:33:00.001-05:00

... is something I've been working on for probably way too long. I decided to just wrap it up and post it. I apologize ahead of time for any flaws in reasoning, Wrong Thinking, etc.

Pain, Experience, Growth, Compassion

2007-06-27T16:59:00.001-05:00

In Coming to Our Senses, Jon Kabat-Zinn points out to us that the part of us that experiences pain is itself *not* in pain. This is true for both emotional and physical pain. Trying to find an awareness of this - if even for a moment - has been tremendously useful to me. I think this speaks into the topic of tinythinker's recent posts. Liberation and enlightenment (to my thinking) are not ceasing to experience, not becoming numb, but letting pain or other experiences in our lives simply happen - not becoming a burden in our hearts and minds, but allowing us to grow instead.

What is the nature of liberation from suffering? For myself it didn't take long for me to realize that freedom from suffering didn't mean freedom from pain.

I've had plenty of unhappy things happen to me, frankly, running the gamut from (fairly "minor") molestation (at 4), to emotional and verbal abuse. And I've certainly experienced a variety of other difficulties in terms of situation and circumstance. But that hardly makes me unusual, and my struggles and pains are nothing compared to, say, those in Darfur struggling for their lives, or the many children in sexual slavery around the world, struggling with captivity and abuse. My "sufferings" are meager, I know that. Nonetheless, some days they have a deep impact on my heart and mind. Mindfulness and loving-compassion help me refocus, though I'm sure that some of the stuff stuck in my head will take years to sort out. Gives me something to do on sleepless nights, I guess.

In any case, while I struggle with the aftereffects of some of these experiences, I'm not sorry I had a single one of them. Each experience I've had has been an opportunity for growth. I've done my best - at least since I became an adult and started my own life - to never shirk from an opportunity to grow. Everything I've experienced has added to who I am, and what I understand.

Every painful experience I have allows me the opportunity to understand another viewpoint. For instance, it is very easy for me to extend my compassion to people struggling with abuse, past or presence. What I have been struggling with lately (and this partially relates to my lack of serious posts, recently) is learning how to extend that mindful compassion beyond where that compassion is comfortable or easy. Tengu House had a post on this recently, wherein he (?) ponders how to extend that compassion to the folks that kidnap, harm and abuse. This is a difficult but essential question, I think.

Whether or not reincarnation is a reality, I think that there is no question that Wrong Action a person undertakes will lead their future suffering. Reincarnation makes this easier - a person's wrongful act will be something they suffer with in the future. To my thinking, reincarnation means there's no escape.

On the other hand, if you don't believe in reincarnation the answers can be less straightforward, and extending compassion to a violent, "monstrous" person becomes a greater leap of faith. In this case it may be that you simply have to start by letting your "hands lead your heart." Making a deliberate, conscious decision to always extend compassion moves us all towards the emptying of samsara, towards world peace, towards the end of suffering.

In The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching, Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of the Five Powers (see chapter 24, pp. 184-191): faith, energy, mindfulness, concentration and insight. With these wonderful tools we can grow both our own Buddha nature, and also begin to see that we all have Buddha nature - villains and victims alike. When we choose to feel compassion for someone who has committed great harm we are mindfully applying what we have learned about compassion and loving-kindness, Buddha nature and co-arising. Compassion without hesitation frees our own mind from suffering and waters the seeds of our own Buddha nature.

The first of the four noble truths is that suffering exists. Unenlightened beings can cause suffering and frequently do. Shantideva made a really good point when he said: "It is natural for the immature to harm others. Getting angry with them is like resenting a fire for burning." Perhaps one can view the Wrong Actions of human predators the same way one views the actions of a rabid grizzly bear. There is no point in being angry at the bear, and it isn't very hard to have compassion for her/him. However, the bear must be dealt with for everyone's safety and be at least imprisoned, if not put down. (Note - I am strongly opposed to the death penalty and do not mean to imply that killing is the best way to deal with human predators. In addition, I am a vegan, so of course I am highly interested in fair and compassionate treatment for all of our fellow creatures.)

Anger can be understood as a strong aversion to someone or something. Aversion is the opposite of attachment and is no more useful. Acting from anger is not acting in wisdom. By deliberately choosing compassion we do not poison ourselves, and we also help to break the cycles of violence and hatred that keep us from achieving the end of suffering for all beings. There is no point in me not forgiving former abusers. It may be hard, but forgiving them allows me to not identify myself with the past's painful events. As Master Cheng Yen said: "To be angry is to let others' mistakes punish yourself. To forgive others is to be good to yourself."

Flower (Lapsana apogonoides) image courtesy of jam34.

Brother Karma Needs Help

2007-06-23T11:33:00.000-05:00

With no money in their hands and little or no help coming from the state, family of 23-year old Karma Lama is finding it very difficult to save their young son.

DIAGNOSED WITH Nephrotic Syndrome a year back, the condition of the young monk has now worsened and he has progressed into the End Stage Renal Disease. Doctors need to replace Karma’s kidneys fast or else he is staring at certain death and in between he needs to have regular dialysis sessions to keep the system working.

For more information, there is a blog about his situation. Let's pass this on, y'all, and spread the word. I'll bet between all of us, we can help Karma out....

Friday Fun

2007-06-22T12:13:00.000-05:00

From "a radio broadcast of Lama Zopa Rinpoche speaking to the Mongolian people."

"Before the broadcast started, Venerable Sarah Thresher asked Rinpoche why Mongolia needed Buddhism. Rinpoche's inimitable response contains the entire path to enlightenment and is certain to lift the spirits of everyone who hears it!"

Moving Meditation

2007-06-22T09:45:00.000-05:00

This is obviously not directly Buddhism-related, but it's fairly close to the version of Surya Namaskar that I do. Or at least will begin to do again as soon as I feel my shoulder is rested enough. Anyway, there are some little differences, but it's more or less the form I was taught. I love this practice, and for as long as I've done it I've considered it a meditation on mindfulness and balance.

Interesting Thought

2007-06-20T16:55:00.000-05:00

"If you don’t heed the cries of a dog on a chain, how do you expect God to heed your cries?" -- Kerouac

"Found Object"

2007-06-18T20:51:00.000-05:00

"Buddhist meditation doesn't necessarily mean sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed. Simply observing how your mind is responding to the sense world can be a really perfect meditation and bring a perfect result." -- Lama Zopa Rinpoche

Geography Tidbit

2007-06-17T22:17:00.000-05:00

"Kalmykia, for the uninitiated, is the only Buddhist republic in Europe." I am embarrassed to admit I didn't know that the Republic of Kalmykia existed. It's a neat little country "...[t]ucked into a corner of Russia, by the Caspian Sea...."

Some facts about the country:

The president of Kalmykia is Kirsan Ilyumzhinov - a chess fanatic and president of the World Federation of Chess. Only in Kalmykia is chess part of the curriculum in school.
The picture to the right is Geden Sheddup Choikorling Monastery. It's the first Tibetan Buddhist monastery in the country ever, and the "first Buddhist place of worship since Joseph Stalin ordered the destruction of all Buddhist temples and monasteries during the Collectivization era and the Great Purge in the 1930s."
The Soviet era was hard on the area. Stalin accused the Kalmyks of being Nazi collaborators and expelled the populous to Siberia for more than ten years. Soviet intensive farming has also been hard on the soil - desertifying (How does one spell that?) previously rich steppe-land.
"The republic's wildlife includes the famous saiga antelope, whose habitat is protected in Cherny Zemli Nature Reserve." [source] (We had them at the zoo I used to work at, so I thought it very important to mention them, you see.)

There, now y'all know a bit more, too.

Edited to add - the Monastery has a website, apperently - http://www.buddhisminkalmykia.ru/?eng.

Hurrah!

2007-06-14T11:21:00.001-05:00

Last night I went for my first Dharma Study, though it was a bit of a drive - I had to haul my cookies all the way to Gulf Breeze (just outside of Pensacola) to visit Palyul Changchub Choling. They're "... a sangha or group who study and practice Tibetan Buddhism in the Nyingma tradition according to the Palyul nam-cho practices.[Links are mine]"

I doubt I can go every week right now (2 hrs in a car with $3 gas), but they're such a great group, and I can do preliminary practices (Ngondro) with them and take refuge the next time the lama comes. I've thought about it, and I think Tibetan Buddhism is the best place for me to start right now, although I have a great deal of respect for the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh. Going to the study group last night felt so right - I was comfortable with the meditation session and the dharma discussion - I felt at home in the material and even felt like I had something to contribute to the discussion. (For what it's worth, they were discussing What Makes You Not a Buddhist by Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse. I don't have it, but it seems like an interesting read, if slim. Maybe once I've caught up on my other Dharma reading....Apparently, this is a much lighter/easier work than their last selection, which was a book on Dzogchen.)

Perhaps soon I can go back, and maybe I'll even remember to bring my camera. ^_^

Please Get Involved

2007-06-13T14:47:00.000-05:00

Consider joining the ONE Campaign to Make Poverty History at http://www.one.org.

Diamond Sutra 101

2007-06-10T15:29:00.000-05:00

I stopped by Ven. Rinchen Gyatso's blog today and found links to the beginning of this great 12 part lecture series on the Diamond Sutra by Venerable Hyun Gak (né Paul Muenzen). I found a better source for the lectures via Google, so I thought I'd include them below, if anyone's interested. They're from the Korean Buddhist Television Network.

Here are links to the other eleven parts (each about 40 minutes long): Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12. (As a heads-up, there are up to 2 brief ads before parts 3 through 12.)

Impermanence

2007-06-10T14:37:00.000-05:00

I had the fantastic fortune of going back to yoga this week. I've really missed it since we moved. I tried to establish a practice here, but it's a bit crowded, and never very quiet. When yoga is properly practiced, at least for me, it's such a wonderful moving meditation. At least, that's how I think it ought to be.

I was lucky enough to have a classically trained teacher - a true yogini. I learned SO much from her. In fact, right before we left, I was contemplating certifying, at her suggestion. At this point, though, I've got a long journey back to where I was....

At the end of my first week back of regular practice, I had an instructor who's practice was less than balanced. We did entirely too many sustained inversions, to my mind, at least for the mixed level of participants there. I was thinking that through most of the practice. After the class, I was trying to show my MIL (she was in the class that day) the traditional sun salutation (Surya Namaskar) I "grew up" with when my right shoulder just gave way and collapsed, right in the middle of bhujangasana. Talk about a total shock. I use my arms all the time - they are not weak, to my mind (think farmer's wife). The only thing I can think of is that it was the same shoulder that I dislocated 3 times when I was a toddler. I dunno. Anyway, I've been forced to rest it this week, and practice has been impossible. Actually, for the first few days, a lot of things were impossible, or at least very painful.

It occurred to me that this was a great teaching for me - a lesson in humility and impermanence. Life changes, we all age, the range of possibilities shifts. I have no doubt I can return to my yoga practice. I just need to be more mindful and gentle with myself.

The Quote I'm Chewing On, Currently:

2007-06-07T13:02:00.000-05:00

When starting to practice, be eager like a deer
trapped in a pen seeking to get out.
In the middle be like a farmer during harvest
not waiting for anything.
In the end be like a shepherd who has
brought the flock home.
-- Paltrul Rinpoche's Sacred Word

I wish I understood precisely what he was saying. I guess having the context of the entire work would be nice, but I found it isolated in a dharma book I'm reading right now. So I guess I'll have to just think about it.

Car-ma

2007-06-05T17:49:00.000-05:00

OK, this is a car commercial, but I love this:

(Found at Awakening the Buddha in us - thanks!)

Love

2007-05-31T14:22:00.000-05:00

Via Entering the Path I found a quote by Brad Warner:

“Transcending emotions doesn’t mean you have no feelings. You have them. But you recognize them for what they are and respond appropriately without letting them develop into what we call emotions, which are really just feelings that have been blown way out of proportion.”

To an extent I agree with this. However, in my humble, unschooled opinion, he's oversimplifying things. The breadth and depth of the palette of human emotion is a good thing, with a potential for great beauty. It's an essential part of what it means to be human, I think. If a human incarnation is to be viewed as a precious thing - an opportunity not to be wasted - it seems to me that human emotion is something not to be wasted, as well.

Problems arise when emotional experience becomes an attachment. Recently, just as I was ending my meditation practice, I had the thought that emotional pain can very easily become an attachment if one is unable or unwilling to move beyond past experience. However, not all emotion is pain and not all emotion is attachment. One can experience intense pain, one can experience intense emotion. I don’t believe suffering is dependent on either. It’s all in how you greet your experience.

There is much emphasis in Buddhism on loving-kindness and compassion. Compassion - the root of lovingness and kindness – is an emotion. I can’t think of another way to describe it. When one practices compassion and – as a consequence – kindness, one experiences great joy. This is not (should not be) the end result of practicing loving-kindness, but it’s a wonderful lagniappe. The emotional rewards of being loving are the fruit, not the tree.

The context of Mr. Warner's blog entry relates mostly to romantic love, so I'll focus my comments on love, specifically. To truly know and love someone - once one has moved beyond romantic love and on to the deeper realities of everyday love - can be one of the great joys of life. Within the structure of real love (whether it be filial, marital, or what-have-you), there is a great deal of room for mindfulness, compassion and understanding. Love can provide a fantastic context for one's daily practice - great opportunities for growth are to be found in our daily interactions. One might even argue that they are necessary for love to continue to ripen and expand.

I am a humble (I hope.), unknowledgeable student of Dharma. So perhaps I simply don’t understand the Truth of what Mr. Warner is saying. I also am not as well-read in Zen thought as I am in the other branches of Buddhism. So perhaps my lack of understanding lies there. In any case, for now, I’ll have to disagree. In my mind a feeling is an itch, and an emotion such as love - while a much “larger” issue – is still a useful experience.

A Brief Thought...

2007-05-31T09:54:00.000-05:00

Not really/specifically a Buddhist one, but here's something interesting I found today:

People are often drawn to the beliefs that provide the most comfort, rather than those that best correspond to reality. -- Sherry F. Colb

Interesting Words

2007-05-24T21:29:00.000-05:00

I really like this:

Buddhism is not a religion or philosophy; it is not a psychology or a science. It is example. It is a method of liberation.
-- Jusan Frankie Parker

Sitting

2007-05-22T09:38:00.000-05:00

So, my meditation practice has been skittering all over the place lately.

It's not that I'm not sitting - I am. My lovely husband pointed out to me that if I was going to become Buddhist and live a Buddhist life I had absolutely no excuse for not establishing a meditation practice. Since that day I've made a point to try and sit everyday. I missed one day - and then decided I liked life better with a little bit of daily "sitting."

I've meditated off and on for many years of my life. Never with any formal education, mind you. The closest I came to that is the guided meditation at the end of my yoga classes, and that's simply not the same thing as a thoughtful, mindful, Buddhist practice.

I've been muddling through it on my own, with a small amount of good affect. For instance, this morning I had my blood pressure checked (while I was having blood drawn) and, for what it's worth, my reading was 98/60. Surprised the tech, as I have a rather girlish figure, in the words of a sweet acquaintance of mine.

As I've no sangha, no teacher, and no local examples, I've been relying on what I can glean from reading and listening to others from a distance (Thank goodness for the internet!). Right now I'm working on a simple approach, mostly focusing on breath meditation. Seems like a good place to start, and I've learned a lot.

Recently, though, my mind has been everywhere, and it is very difficult to be focused even on my breath. Occasionally my entire practice consists of naming my distraction and moving back to my breath. Obviously I've got a lot of work to do. In the meantime I must always strive to be gentle with myself.

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche says that "Mindfulness practice is simple and completely feasible. Just by sitting and doing nothing, we are doing a tremendous amount." I consider this both a part of breathing meditation, and an integral part of daily life. (The latter a constant struggle, but a good one. ^_^) I understand, though, that this is not all there is to meditation, that beyond deepening my practice of samatha I must grow to understand and successfully practice vipassana.

I could wish for an easier journey on the Path, but wouldn't want one. Finding joy and practicing mindfulness in my current life is a delightful challenge.

"Happiness Is..."

2007-05-21T19:08:00.000-05:00

This is a lovely tune by Yungchen Lhamo. Her description:

Every1 wants to be happy. Everything works better when people are happy. We all need to find happiness. But what really makes us happy? Not just happy for a moment but really happy, a happiness that is meaningful and valuable. Om Mani Padme Hung

Klingon and Avalokiteśvara

2007-05-18T10:56:00.000-05:00

So, I've obviously lacked in focus today, and this is the fruit of my lack of labor, so to speak. Here's the Jewel Mantra done up in Klingon:

I have a strong suspicion, though, that there aren't all that many Buddhist Klingons out there. I just have that impression.

Ah, well, back to the real world. Dishes wait for no (wo)man, and neither does the web development job I need to get to after that....

Everyday Dharma

2007-05-17T14:49:00.000-05:00

Concerning Practice ...

2007-05-17T13:43:00.000-05:00

"...practice should not be an ordeal."

From a Tenzin Palmo Interview ...

Obviously being relaxed doesn’t mean that you make no effort. To become effortless takes a lot of effort. It’s good to compare it to learning an instrument or learning a sport. When you learn an instrument, it takes an awful lot of time to just learn the scales, and then eventually when you have completely mastered the instrument, the music plays for you. But you still have to keep practicing. And it takes an awful lot of practice. Nonetheless, if you diligently practice, hours and hours and hours and hours, you probably won’t get it. You’ll probably just end up hurting your fingers. The very best players, when they are practicing, put everything they’ve got into it. But then they leave it for a while. And it’s the same in dharma practice. One has to find a balance. I don’t say that when you leave it you forget all about the dharma or practice, but there have to be times when you throw yourself into it, and then there are times when you just relax and realize that wherever you go, you cannot get out of the dharma. The dharma is here. And the dharma is in your heart. Where else would it be?

Resources I've been Contemplating ...

2007-05-16T20:07:00.000-05:00

Here's some of what I've been reading concerning emptiness, if anyone's interested. At all. ^_^

The Heart Sutra, with Kalsang's prompting to goad me along. :D
Thich Nhat Hanh's commentary on the Heart Sutra - The Heart of Understanding
TinyThinker's blog entry on the topic
Wisdom of Emptiness - Tenzin Palmo's Lecture
Two essays discussing emptiness at PurifyMind.com
Kunzang's comments

Ussannatā

2007-05-15T09:39:00.000-05:00

(...this is a Pali word, meaning abundance, or fullness.)

I deeply appreciate the insight of all who have commented on this to me.

Right about the time I was reading Kunzang's wonderful commentary, I realized that I really did need to turn my view of emptiness around. So to speak.

I've long understood the usefulness, particularly in Buddhism, of studying/understanding paradox. However, in this case, I got hung up on the ideas and words of a specific concept. It took me a while to get over my over-intellectualizing of sunyata.

Anyway, I finally realized the truth of the fullness of emptiness. And vice versa. And once I got my head around the necessary duality of the concept, I was able to easily mesh the concept in with the concept of compassion. (By seeing our interdependence and co-arising, we see the absolute necessity of compassion and loving kindness. By exhibiting loving-kindness we are moving all of us towards enlightenment and the end of suffering. (At least that's my coarse and primitive sum-uppance. Gosh, this whole paragraph looks (is?) so droll and self-absorbed.))

I also realize that by approaching my understanding in this way, by coming at the mountain via more the idea of interdependence and co-arising, I am limiting myself. However, it's a start, and as I am just beginning to sort out the first few steps on this Path, I am content. For the moment.

Form/Emptiness

2007-05-12T20:14:00.000-05:00

"Form is no other than emptiness, emptiness no other than form; form is exactly emptiness, emptiness exactly form"
-Heart Sutra

I have been slowly studying the Heart Sutra. This (quote) I get. Still, I wonder at the idea of placing understanding emptiness before compassion. Can one not understand and practice ego-less compassion without having understood Sunyata?

Sunyata

2007-05-04T09:24:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been focused on deepening my understanding of Emptiness. It's been slow going - this is where it is obvious to me that being able to participate in a local sangha would be good.

I started my exploration of sunyata after reading an excerpt from Bodhi magazin e (Vol. 8, No. 3) in Buddhadharma's Spring 2007 issue. There's an article there by Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche called "Emptiness First, Then Compassion." He writes:

When we try to practice compassion without the view of egolessness, or emptiness, we are often not really helping because we ourselves are so confused. Our own lack of clarity only produces further confusion. If we have an idea that we think will help someone, it is usually based on our own interpretation of what we think they require or want. We are not looking at their situation from their point of view. Instead of giving them what they truly need, we give what we think they need. There is a difference between the two. Furthermore, we have value judgments about how they should accept our help, and so we "help"them further by imposing conditions and guidelines.

Compassion and loving-kindness that is free from ego clinging allows us to see the suffering of others from their own perspective. We can see beyond our own ideas and beliefs. We can see what they need from their point of view, and we can apply our own wisdom at the same time. with this more open and clear view, we can see more realistically what will meet their actual needs and be truly beneficial.

I do understand what he is saying. However, for myself, I come to the idea of egoless compassion and loving-kindness through my attempts to broaden my ability to be compassionate. There was a point when I realized that to be truly compassionate and loving I needed to move beyond my own concepts and try to understand the needs and feelings of others in order to better "serve" them. (I wish I could think of a better word than "serve" - the best thing I can think of is my own crudely-realized idea of bodhicitta, though it is only in recent years that I've come to have a (beginner's) understanding of this concept.)

I guess it's a matter of perspective. For me, the idea of linearly studying one concept before another does not work as well as a more holistic approach studying many aspects of Buddhism at one time. I'm not suggesting a scattered approach leading to little understanding. It's more about the concepts of interdependence extending into my understanding of the Dharma - no one concept being free of others.

Perhaps the Venerable Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche and I have different styles of thinking. Or perhaps I am just not knowledgeable enough to have a separate perspective, and I am just deluding or confusing myself. ^_^

Links I've recently been looking at on the topic:

"Love is the Law"

2007-05-01T11:19:00.000-05:00

You know, I love my husband very much. We've been married for almost 16 years. It hasn't been easy, but it has been very much worth it.

My husband is passionate about his beliefs. We have a different religious context, but we come from the same spiritual context. He is all about loving-compassion. Check out his opening blog entry. I'd love to know what you think, and so would he. ^_^

Action as Compassion

2007-05-01T09:37:00.000-05:00

I found a section on CNN.com called CNN Heroes. Each of the people mentioned has, as a result of their experience, seen a need to take action to make the world a better place. They come from many walks of life, but they all express loving-kindness and compassion for their fellow earthlings and/or the earth itself. They are my inspiration today, you might consider checking them out. ^_^

Walking Meditation - Thich Nhat Hanh

2007-04-30T22:47:00.000-05:00

This such a joy to watch...

The Walk Itself...

2007-04-30T16:45:00.000-05:00

Thus we see that the all-important thing is not killing or giving life, drinking or not drinking, living in the town or the country, being lucky or unlucky, winning or losing. It is how we win, how we lose, how we live or die; finally, how we choose. We walk, and our religion is shown (even to the dullest and most insensitive person), in how we walk. Living in this world means choosing, and the way we choose to walk is infallibly and perfectly expressed in the walk itself.

- R. H. Blyth

Found this via BigHappyBuddha. Thanks for the inspiration.

Little by Little ...

2007-04-30T15:07:00.000-05:00

I had forgotten I'd found this ...

Drop by drop, is the water pot filled.
A little at a time, wise people make themselves good.
-- Buddha

Juan Mann's Loving Compassion

2007-04-30T13:39:00.000-05:00

My 12 year old thinks that Juan's efforts are full of Loving-Compassion. I agree.

Here's a related Australian news clip:

And to learn more, here's the website: http://www.freehugscampaign.org/

Joy on the Parisian Subway

2007-04-30T11:49:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd share this video I found, featuring Naturally7. What a joyful thing ...

Samadhi

2007-04-27T18:54:00.000-05:00

Following up on what I wrote earlier, Thich Nhat Hanh wrote the following:

To practice samadhi is to live deeply each moment that is given us to live. Samadhi means concentration. In order to be concentrated, we should be mindful, fully present and aware of what is going on. Mindfulness brings about concentration. When you are deeply concentrated, you are absorbed in the moment. You become the moment. That is why samadhi is sometimes translated as "absorption." Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration lift us above the realms of sensual pleasures and craving, and we find ourselves lighter and happier. Our world is no longer gross and heavy, the realm of desires (karma dhatu). It is the realm of fine materiality, the realm of form (rupa dhatu). -- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching, p. 107

Joy in the Everyday

2007-04-27T10:53:00.000-05:00

I thought I should make a caveat here, after rereading my last post. What I really take joy from are the little, everyday things that I do my absolute best to not take for granted. When my sons want to sit and read a story, I take great delight in it, even if it means being mindful about it because I have nine hundred things to do. Time is fleeting, and I am enjoying the everyday of my life. Soon enough my children will be grown, and I will be much older....

I wish happiness and peace to everyone today. I hope you enjoy your day!

Hubble and the Face of God

2007-04-26T00:25:00.000-05:00

A little bit of a digression .... My husband and I are not of the same context, spiritually. He has a spiritual heritage, a cultural foundation that I do not. I was not raised steeped in a religious tradition. My religious upbringing was listening to other people talk about their spiritual lives as I visited with them, and also the ecumenical realities of being raised in a military community. I remember visiting churches on base for cultural events of one sort or another and letting my mind pick at the various religious artifacts I could see around me. I wanted so much to understand the spiritual rubrics they represented - really understand them, not just have an intellectual grasp of them. My churches were multi-purpose churches designed to fit the spiritual needs of the many different peoples that make up the corps of the armed forces. I am a spiritual orphan raised by a long series of spiritual foster parents. I have thought for many many years about this, and after long thought, I have realized that I am ill-suited for Christianity. It is a second language to me, not the fabric of my upbringing. So, with that said, I have always imagined, that if God is as my Christian husband believes He is, then He is sublime. And if His face is to be found, to me, it is to be found not in the rough trappings of our everyday but here, in the clouds of new solar life in a brilliant starlit nebula....

The Mindful Way Video

2007-04-25T13:06:00.000-05:00

This is an older BBC film. It's a thoughtful look at the life and philosophy of being a Buddhist monk, filmed in Thailand.

"Avilokiteshvara - Buddha of Compassion"

2007-04-24T22:05:00.000-05:00

This is nice:

From allinthemind The mantra of Buddha Avilokiteshvara (Buddha of Compassion), what the mantra means, some tibetan throat chanting by Lama Tashi, along with a few visuals. Please enjoy!

Mindfulness, Focus and Real Life

2007-04-24T21:34:00.000-05:00

Life is keeping me busy. I've actually managed meditative practice a few times this week, though, which has been wonderful. Pema Chödrön talks of having more room in her mind after Practice, and it is easy for me to understand the analogy.

I could have totally used the time today. It has been hard to be mindful this evening, especially .... Which sutra is it where the Buddha turns to his monks and says something to the effect of "See how happy you are? You have no crops to fail, no animals to husband...."?

Well, I have chosen my path, and it is truly a wonderful one. Time to take a moment to be grateful, and to smile at all the elements in my life, for they are truly all a blessing.

Buddhism in the Himalayas Video

2007-04-21T10:50:00.000-05:00

This is interesting. My 12 year son found this moving and perhaps even inspiring. I wish the best for him....

Lizard Sitting

2007-04-20T17:51:00.000-05:00

Last night I stayed up late with a lizard.

I found him (?!?) behind the door in our bathroom, tired and injured. My guess is that he found his way in, and then my cats found him. I can't imagine what that was like.

Anyway, he was so tired and weak, it was easy to get him into a "Tupperware" container to take outside. As I did so, however, he climbed out of the container and up on to my wrist.

For a moment we looked at each other while we each decided what we would do. I decided to do nothing, and let the lizard decide what was most important to him. He watched me, wide-eyed - half-afraid I was going to eat him, I suppose. When he realized I intended him no harm he relaxed, and let the warmth of my body provide him with strength and healing.

He let me carry him through the house that way, and after a brief conversation with my husband, I decided to sit with the injured lizard and allow him the chance to rest. What an amazing thing that was. Every little while he would feel warmed up enough to move up my arm and on to the table next to me, but each time he realized that he was still injured and too tired to get back to his life yet. So he allowed me to lift him back to my skin each time, where he'd watch me for a little while and then close his eyes and rest. I also tried a couple of times to find him a warm and safe place outside to rest, but each time he crawled further up my body and looked at me, as if to say, please let me stay a while. So I did.

We sat together for quite a while, but eventually other responsibilities called me - if nothing else it was well past when I should have gone to sleep. So we reached a compromise. After a little coaxing from me he found that he could warm himself on the top rim of the lampshade on the little table next to us, so he made himself comfortable and went back to sleep. He was still there (and alive) this morning when I came back into the room, but eventually I found that he had moved on. Hopefully he went out the nearby door (open to the warm spring weather) into the sunshine.

I am very grateful for the opportunity to sit with this lizard and be mindful of my experience. I am grateful that I was able to share a little love and warmth with him. I wish him the best.

Om Mani Padme Hum....

Mindfulness Resource

2007-04-20T02:01:00.000-05:00

Found a website (http://mindfulness.org.au/links.html) during my late-night surfing tonight that may be relevant in my quest for better mental health. One link of interest is to an article on Urge Surfing - a way to approach cravings with mindfulness and without resistance. I look forward to attempting to apply this in my life.

(Thanks to Dharmakara’s Prayer for such a fantastic blog post.)

More inspiration

2007-04-19T22:56:00.000-05:00

I've been reading Thich Nhat Hanh's "primer" on Buddhism, and thinking about store consciousness - what in Western psychology would be termed "background consciousness."

I think this poem by Rumi speaks to this:

in bloom

I feel like the ground, astonished
at what the atmosphere has brought to it. What I know
is growing inside me.

(Thanks to Kozi Wolf for the poem. And for what it's worth, I found an interesting article on "Consciousness and Quantum Physics" by Hanh.)

2007-04-19T22:34:00.000-05:00

OK, not trying to pinch other folks' stuff, but I found this quote on lotusinthemud, as well, and I thought it speaks to my other post about suffering and loving transformation.

Imagine walking along a sidewalk with your arms full of groceries, and someone roughly bumps into you so that you fall and your groceries are strewn over the ground. As you rise up from the puddle of broken eggs and tomato juice, you are ready to shout out, "You idiot! What's wrong with you? Are you blind?" But just before you can catch your breath to speak, you see that the person who bumped you is actually blind. He, too, is sprawled in the spilled groceries, and your anger vanishes in an instant, to be replaced by sympathetic concern: "Are you hurt? Can I help you up?" Our situation is like that. When we clearly realize that the source of disharmony and misery in the world is ignorance, we can open the door of wisdom and compassion. Then we are in a position to heal ourselves and others. ~ B. Alan Wallace, Tibetan Buddhism from the Ground Up

Pain vs. Suffering

2007-04-19T22:28:00.000-05:00

Found this on lotusinthemud:

How do you deal with the death of your spouse? How would you feel if you lost your mother tomorrow? Or your sister or your closest friend? Suppose you lost your job, your savings, and the use of your legs, on the same day; could you face the prospect of spending the rest of your life in a wheelchair? How.... will you deal with your own death, when that approaches? You may escape most of these misfortunes, but you wont escape all of them.... You can suffer through things like that or you can face them openly--The choice is yours. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is not. Pain and suffering are two different animals. If any of these tragedies strike you in your present state of mind, you will suffer.... Buddhism does advise you to invest some of your time and energy in learning to deal with unpleasantness, because some pain is unavoidable. When you see a truck bearing down on you, by all means jump out of the way. But spend some time in meditation, too. Learning to deal with discomfort is the only way you'll be ready to handle the truck you didn't see.~Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English

Now, to figure out how to work more time for meditation into my life. -_^

More about Rinchen Gyatso

2007-04-18T15:32:00.000-05:00

For the curious, you can learn more about him here, and his blog ("A Monk Amok") is here.

"We can move mountains with a single breath."

2007-04-18T12:03:00.000-05:00

So, I was reading Rinchen Gyatso's booklet "You Can Move Mountains: An Introduction to the Mind-Science of Dharma" and found this quote:

People don’t like to talk about suffering.... We don’t like to think about the ways in which we cause our own and other’s suffering, because that would mean we would have to change our lives.

He also writes:

[...] we can dramatically change not only our experience of the world, but also ultimately the experience of all beings that share this world with us, if we begin to make small changes in our own minds. With each breath, we turn a little to the right, a little bit closer to fully embodying the wisdom and compassion that exists within us.

I take from this that a constant move towards love and compassion will ultimately leave (when I/we die) the world a better place. Rinchen Gyatso continues:

We are not the victims of circumstance: we create our circumstances. Within each of us lies the power to change our lives, and to positively affect the people around us. Like ripples in a pond, we can change everything and create the world we truly want; a world filled with people who work for peace and the benefit of others.

As war and strife continue around us, as violence bubbles up in our world, we must keep from feeling helpless, that nothing we do matters. Everything matters. In The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching, Thich Nhat Hanh writes:

In the year 255, Vietnamese Meditation Master Tang Hoi taught that our consciousness is like the ocean with the six rivers of our senses flowing into it. Our mind and our body come from consciousness. They are formed by ourselves and our environment. Our lives can be said to be a manifestation of our consciousness.

Ven Tenzin Palmo & Dongyu Gatsal Ling Nuns (India)

2007-04-17T19:56:00.000-05:00

Dongyu Gatsal Ling Nunnery was founded by Venerable Tenzin Palmo in 2000 following a commitment she made to His Eminence 8th Khamtrul Rinpoche, head lama of the Khampagar Monastery, in order to provide an environment where young women from Tibet and the Himalayan border regions could come together to study and practise in accordance with the Drukpa Kargyu tradition of Tibetan Buddhism.

The joy of the nuns in these images, as they realize the opening of their nunnery is so wonderful, and contagious, too. Best wishes for them on their journey...!

To learn more, please visit Tenzin Palmo and Dongyu Gatsal Nunnery's site at gatsal.org/.

Unbridled Joy

2007-04-17T16:03:00.000-05:00

So, I realized this weekend that I am well-and-truly meant to be a Buddhist. I have not taken the refuges - there is no sangha close to me - but I have come to realize that I am Buddhist at heart, and always have been. You see, this weekend was a trial for me. My middle son (who's 5) came down with appendicitis. All the sudden I found myself awake all night, waiting for my son to come out of emergency surgery. All is well, now, my son is recovering. However, when they took him back, and I was sent to an empty waiting room (it was early morning), it was up to me to accept my experience. So I did as Thich Nhat Hanh suggests - I smiled at my feelings and situation. I sat with my experience and, well, "experienced" it. Once I had done this, I found the peace of simple acceptance. Life was beautiful and quiet, and all I had to do was wait - to let experience happen. So I did, and found joy in the midst of it all.